You’re searching for that perfect Buford T. Justice quote, right? Maybe something to drop into a text, a roast, or your next Instagram caption. Well, your search ends here. We’ve gathered the best, boldest, and most unforgettable lines inspired by the man himself — Buford T. Justice from Smokey and the Bandit.
This article is all you need. Scroll down and enjoy quote after quote, ready to match your mood, moment, or meme.
Best Buford T. Justice Quotes of All Time
These are the fan-favorite lines that made Buford a comedy legend. Timeless, bold, and straight from the badge.
- You can think, but I do the lawin’ around here
- I’m gonna hunt you down like yesterday’s chili
- This badge doesn’t come with a pause button
- I’ve seen smarter raccoons crossing highways
- You make a turtle look like a sprinter
- You run, I chase — that’s the law of the land
- Don’t sass me, son, I’m armed with paperwork
- You can outrun my car, not my pride
- This isn’t a negotiation, it’s a declaration
- You talk big for someone who can’t park straight
- You can’t hide — I’ve got stubborn in my blood
- Justice doesn’t sleep, and neither do I
- I don’t do mercy — I do paperwork
- That radio chatter? That’s your last warning
- Move your boots before I cite your shadow
- You’re under arrest for lookin’ foolish
- I didn’t chase you for fun — well, maybe a little
- You talk faster when you’re guilty
- I’ve got a ticket with your name in bold
- Speed laws aren’t suggestions, they’re promises
Funny Buford T. Justice Quotes for Laughs
Looking for quotes that spark a chuckle? These lines are full of sass, sarcasm, and down-south wit.
- I oughta ticket you for just existing
- If stupid paid bills, you’d be rich
- My mustache has more sense than you
- I’ve seen cows make better decisions
- You ain’t slick — just sweaty and scared
- That’s not speeding, that’s begging for attention
- I’ve met brighter porch lights
- You keep talkin’, I’ll keep writin’ citations
- If brains were dynamite, you couldn’t blow your nose
- I could arrest you for fashion alone
- You call that driving or just dancing with disaster?
- My foot’s faster than your getaway plan
- You got a face made for radio silence
- Don’t make me quote the law — again
- You just passed dumb and drove into dangerous
- That engine better pray tonight
- I chase crooks, not clowns
- If sarcasm were illegal, I’d be serving life
- You couldn’t hide behind a shadow if it was night
- Your lies have the weight of cotton candy
Buford T. Justice Quotes About Law and Order
Buford never held back when it came to laying down the law. These quotes pack authority, grit, and zero tolerance.
- Justice walks tall, even in cowboy boots
- I serve the law with a side of attitude
- Don’t test my badge — it bites
- Order ain’t optional, it’s expected
- You mess with the law, you mess with me
- This badge means business — and breakfast
- One more lie and I’ll read you bedtime rights
- I keep peace with paperwork and persistence
- That noise you hear? It’s justice pulling up
- I don’t forget, I file
- We don’t guess in my county, we cite
- The law is written in ink and enforced with fire
- My cuffs don’t play favorites
- Respect the badge or regret the boots
- The court can be kind — I ain’t
- Every lawbreaker meets his Buford
- No shortcuts, just handcuffs
- The only appeal you get is to your mama
- Law and order don’t take lunch breaks
- I’ll uphold the law — even if it’s uphill
Savage Buford T. Justice Quotes for Roasts
Need some sting with your sass? These quotes hit hard and leave a mark.
- You couldn’t win a fight with your reflection
- That mouth’s writing checks your boots can’t cash
- You’re about as sharp as a soggy waffle
- I’ve seen braver squirrels
- You bring shame to dumb
- You couldn’t argue with a rock
- That’s not confidence — that’s confusion
- I’d take your advice if I wanted bad luck
- You’re proof evolution’s not in a hurry
- You’d lose a race against a red light
- If brains were bacon, you’d still be hungry
- You walk like you owe the world an apology
- That was bold — and wrong
- If ignorance was art, you’d be a masterpiece
- You couldn’t lead ants to sugar
- You’re slower than my Sunday radio
- I’d challenge you to a duel, but you’d forget
- You talk big for a speed bump
- You’ve got two left thoughts
- I hope you’re better at hiding than talking
Buford T. Justice Quotes for Social Media Captions
Short, snappy, and loaded with attitude — perfect for a selfie or meme.
- Running from the law? Try keeping up
- Caught speedin’ through life
- Lawman mode: activated
- Stay smooth, stay cited
- Don’t test me, I pass with sirens
- Justice rides with coffee
- This hat means business
- Bad vibes go straight to jail
- Who needs luck when you have a warrant?
- You break it, I book it
- Sworn in, fired up
- No brakes, just justice
- Runnin’ fast, but I’m faster
- Mess with peace, meet the punchline
- Wanted: for being awesome
- My chase, my rules
- I got 99 problems and you’re all of them
- Off-duty but still judging
- Ain’t no radar needed for this speed
- Doin’ 90 in a 55 frame of mind
Quotes from Buford T. Justice for Motivation
Surprisingly, Buford dropped some tough love that sounds almost… inspiring.
- Don’t wait — chase what’s yours
- Run fast, think faster
- Even justice hits bumps
- Grit wins races
- Fall down, ticket the floor, stand back up
- Confidence is a loud badge
- Make ‘em remember your footsteps
- Mistakes are just future punchlines
- Start small, end big
- Stay sharp — even when they dull you
- Nothing stops a stubborn soul
- Write your own report
- Chase your dreams like a Bandit
- Failure is just a detour
- Wake up, show up, speak up
- No excuse is stronger than my will
- Hustle like you’re being followed
- Every legend starts with a warrant
- You can rest later — for now, drive
- If the world says stop, go faster
Buford T. Justice Quotes That Deserve to Be in a Movie
Some of these aren’t from the films — but they sure sound like they should be.
- If speed were a sin, I’d be Pope
- Get in, buckle up, shut up
- If trouble had a face, it’d be yours
- That’s not driving — that’s breakdancing with brakes
- You crash it, you meet my pen
- Sirens off, fury on
- Life’s a highway and I own a radar
- Trouble finds you — I finish it
- I ain’t just the law — I’m the whole damn courthouse
- You got nerve showing up slow
- My voice writes tickets, my pen signs them
- I’ve been chasing ghosts faster than you
- The only smoke I like is from my tires
- If you pass me, wave goodbye to luck
- One more turn and I’ll turn this car into legend
- When I stop, the clock starts
- You try running, I try recording
- That smirk needs a speed bump
- I drive fear into fugitives
- I’m not mad — I’m motivated
